Saturday, May 8, 2010

For Those With Empty Arms on Mother's Day



One church. One Mother's Day.

"All you children stand up and face your mothers. All together now repeat after me, 'I love you, Mom.'"

Another church. Another Mother's Day.

"All you grandmothers stand up. All you moms stand up. Now the rest of you women stand up. Because if you're not a mother in the physical sense, you are a mom in the spiritual sense."

Sorry, Pastor. That does not help when you are racked with new and even aging grief. In time, maybe. In time.

And that is why for so many years I avoided church on Mother's Day.

And why I still hurt for those with barren wombs and empty arms on Mother's Day.

And sometimes wonder if it's not best to to erase Mother's Day from the calendar--and honor our own mothers every day.

And so this weekend, for those who suffer, I think of you, my sisters. And I hold you up before the One who knows.

I know.
It's Mother's Day.
I know the burning in your breast
The throbbing chest ready to explode
The aching arms
The tightened throat, choking
The dammed tears
And then the flood.
I know the heartbreak
That follows month after month of scientific love
And manufactured methods.
And then the exhilaration of success
And the devastation of loss.
Fruitless.
I don't know your path of healing
But it will come in time
In some form
And the pain will subside
Somewhat
Leaving an occasional familiar twinge
A thorn.
It's Mother's Day.
And you hurt.
I know.
He knows.

"If your heart is broken, you'll find God right there; if you're kicked in the gut, he'll help you catch your breath." Psalm 34:18 (Message)

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King

14 comments:

Jeff Jordan said...

If there be any comfort...yes, He knows.

Sandra Heska King said...

Yes, He knows. And He comforts.

Have a great weekend, Jeff!

S. Etole said...

The God of all comfort ... thank you for this.

SomeGirl said...

What a BEAUTIFUL post! And I agree with the doing-away of Mother's Day celebrations in the church... too many people are hurting and avoid church because of it... I'm all for keeping our focus on the Lord at church and honoring our mothers at home!

♥ Michelle

Sandra Heska King said...

Hi, Michelle!

You have to have been there, I think, to be sensitive to pain. In a lot of areas. Thanks so much for dropping by.

Deidra said...

What a beautiful poem. Your idea to take Mother's Day (and Father's Day, for that matter) out of the church is well worth pondering. Thank you for this. And praise be to God who comforts us in our sorrow so that we may one day be a comfort to others.

Graceful said...

This is a beautiful message, Sandy. And one I hadn't really thought about before. But I think you're right -- church, God's love, is about inclusivity, not exclusivity.

Faith Imagined said...

Beautifully written poem. The reader can feel the pain that resides within it.

Praise God that He matches heartache with His grace.

caryjo said...

Good poetic and realistic way of dealing with this. I'm, personally, not a big Mom's Day person, partly b/c of what you described. thank you for stepping up to that emotional plate so beautifully.

SharonB said...

Beautifully written my friend. I,for a different reason, have often found Mother's Day difficult. Not every mother/child relationship is as wonderful as all the Hallmark card portray.

Can't tell you how many years I've stood in the card isle with tears flowing down trying to find one that was nice but truthful. I always go with the funny ones - it was easier.
This year was different - this year there's been healing.
Still it was hard - but no tears. :-)

Sandra Heska King said...

@Diedra: Thank you. Have you ever read "Don't Waste Your Sorrows" by Paul Billheimer?

@Michelle: If only we can keep our focus on God.

@Alisa: Matching heartache with grace. Love that.

@caryjo: It'd be nice to think we could treat our parents all year long. But in some instances, even that is difficult. One person told me how hard that day was since her mother was abusive.

@Sharon: Praising Him for easing the pain and bringing healing in His time. XOXO

JoAnne Bennett said...

I could certainly relate to Sharon's comment, Mother's Day not being a Hallmark card moment. For me, another reason as well; more fitting a Lifetime movie. great reminder Sandra, that it's not always that easy.

caryjo said...

I agree. I used to try to figure out how I could give my mom a card when there was no way to give her something with all that fluffy emotion attached. I usually ended up finding something funny/ sarcastic and could pull it off. In the last 10 years, we're finally doing OK, but mom isn't a "sweetness and light" kind of person; I just call her and tell her she's loved. Or write her a personal poem of some kind. But, again, nothing fluffy. [When I was in Morocco the timing worked just about perfectly for M-Day so ... I sent her a framed goofy-looking photo of me riding a donkey through a Berber village. She loved it.]

Sandra Heska King said...

@JoAnne: No, it's not always easy for a lot of reasons. Hugs.

@caryjo: Love it!

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