Monday, June 14, 2010

Sizzling Hot Abs

So this is my new toy.

Because at my age, things--well, kind of rock and roll. Especially roll. And other things, like neck and back, get kind of stiff.

You've seen the ads. Just sit back and rocket (rock it.) Support head and neck.

Get sizzling hot abs.

Um, right.

I tried the beginner's workout. I can rock that baby down. Easy as eating chocolate cake.

Rocking back up again? Well, that's another story.

The video trainer--that woman with the sizzling abs--the one in the tight pants that dip below her perfect navel--stretches her arms out in front of her or crosses them over her chest and just rockets up.

Up and down. Up and down. All the way up. All the way down.

I grab the handles, grunt, and just turn blue. Blend right into the background.

If I suck in my navel and remember to breathe out when I come up, I can rocket up, oh maybe an inch. Or less.

I'm such a weakling.

Chris Tomlinson (Crave, reviewed here) said, "I would like to think my spirit is ridiculously ripped."

I've thought about that a lot over the last months. A healthy spirit requires proper feeding and regular exercise. Without it, I suspect it's weak and flabby.

Like me.

I want a strong spirit.

Anyway, I'll continue to work it, and maybe I'll find a tighter tummy. Maybe even before I get discouraged. Or plain just tired of it.

Maybe I'll even find some sizzling hot abs.

Probably not.

It's in the fine print.

Results not typical.

But I can at least be more healthy. Maybe a little firm. And I'll try not to compare myself to the navel lady.

I'd rather have a spirit that sizzles anyway.

But sizzling hot abs would be nice.

"A healthy spirit conquers adversity, but what can you do when the spirit is crushed?" 
Proverbs 18:14 (Message)

What kind of exercise equipment have you bought? Did you use it? Did you see results?
Are you feeding and exercising your spirit? How's that going?

Copyright © 2010 by Sandra Heska King

6 comments:

sherri said...

I'm much better about exercising spiritually. Mt trainer is AWESOME!

I have the treadmill/clothes hanger sitting useless.
'Don't you just love the "results not typical" disclaimer?

Tammy P. said...

I have to admit I'm like Sherri *sheepish grin*

Sandra Heska King said...

@Sherri: Oh, I have one of those treadmill hangers. And a weight bench that works great for hand drying.

@Tammy: Well, I guess if we have to choose . . . Now if we could learn to multitask. Or to WANT to multitask.

Duane Scott said...

Hmmm....

Where to start?

First things first. I can't believe you fell for one of those "get abs painfree" "as seen on tv" thingies.

Getting abs hurts. There are no machines that will do it. Not only do they hurt, but you have to eat like a bird to see them. I know this, because I've lived my life chasing them. I have only 4. I'm hoping that if I starve myself these coming weeks, I'll be beach ready in a month.

What we don't do.

And besides, who cares? I can assure you, that when I get "over 30" I am going to eat chocolate cake everyday.

And then I'm going to lounge in your Ab Rocker, eat caramel popcorn, and watch The Biggest Loser. Yep, because someone's gotta do the watching.

End of rant.

S. Etole said...

I think I'll ignore the questions and go with the caramel popcorn ... except I do want a spirit that sizzles! That's definitely worth the exercise.

Sandra Heska King said...

It's the chocolate cake that got me to this point! And it didn't tout itself as totally painfree--just supportive for neck and back. And I'm really jealous that the navel lady had such sizzling abs--and mine are more used to digesting food than working it off, and . . .

Oh, never mind. Bring on the caramel corn.

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