Friday, October 23, 2009

Expect the Unexpected

My phone beep, beep, beeped in the middle of yesterday's quiet, well-planned, writing afternoon with a text message. 

"Mom, prepare yourself.  I'm going to call in a few minutes."

My heart skipped a beat.  My daughter struggles with various health issues.  I knew she had a doctor's appointment.  She has a 25-year-old friend with a bowel cancer recurrence.  I know of several young people who face serious and even life-threatening illness.  Was it her turn?

Prepare yourself.

Kind of late.  Always good to be prepared before you need to be prepared.

I went to my knees.  And waited.

What do you do when you get that unexpected call?  The call that suddenly changes everything?  The one that shoots a hole in your expectations and dreams and comfortable bubble?  Are you like a mighty oak with a deep and strong root system that can bend and sway with the wind?  Or are you a tree with shallow roots that topples in the slightest breeze?

Can you adapt?  Just one more time?

Can you grow stronger and push those roots a little deeper?  Just one more time?

Prepare yourself.

But I knew.  A gut feeling.  I'm a mom after all.  This wouldn't be good news.  Necessarily.

The call came.  One of very mixed emotions.  Excitement.  Fear.

Worry.  About disappointing us.  Especially her dad.  Even her brother.

Disappointment.  God's appointment.

My daughter, now 24, single mom to a 7-year-old little girl, is pregnant again.

New life.

New challenges in the face of the unmarried issue, the school issue, the no-job issue, the no-money issue, the health issue.  For starters.

But she is loved.  By the father.  By his mother.  By us.  By our Father.

Unexpected by us.  Not unexpected by God.

Now expecting the unexpected.

Another life to touch that might one day touch the world.

I'm going to be a grandma again.

And it's all good.  Because babies are good.  Because God is good.

Are you prepared for the unexpected?

"But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God's unfailing love for ever and ever.  I will praise you forever for what you have done; in your name I will hope, for your name is good.  I will praise you in the presence of your saints."  Psalm 52:8-9 (NIV)

Copyright © 2009 by Sandra Heska King


Jody Hedlund said...

Hi Sandra,

The unexpected is definitely hard for me. I'm such an orderly type of person, that when the unexpected happens, it takes me a while to grapple with it. Once I do, then I can usually adjust.

Thanks for sharing so personally. As much as we wish our children could turn out perfect, it just doesn't happen, does it? At some point we have to let go and let them make their own choices. And all we can do is continue to provide unconditional love.

Sandra Heska King said...

Hi Jody!

Thanks for stopping by. You know, the older I get, the more I think perfection is overrated. It's a journey that we are all on together. I'm so glad that God sees me as perfect through Jesus in spite of all my imperfections. It's a matter of, like you said, letting go and just loving each other - and letting them love me. Cuz I just make myself so mad sometimes. It's giving Him all control. Cuz He has it anyway. One day, when we behold Him face to face. What a perfect day that will be!

Love ya,

lynnmosher said...

Oh, Sandy! I'm glad you said something on my blog about your post. I'm so glad I got to read this. What a swirling pot of mixed emotions! I am well acquainted with these feelings. I'll be praying for you all. May the Lord bless all of you!

Eileen Astels Watson said...

Sandra, babies are such a blessing! Thank Heaven her news wasn't life threatening. I will be praying for mother, father, and seven year old to welcome and love this baby like God does.

Laurie said...

Oh Snady....

My heart stopped when I thought she might be ill, and didn't start again until I knew what the "problem" was.

I'm not making light of the pregnancy....I know the heartache of being disappointed by a child (although not in that particular way)...but I rejoice for you that your daughter is healthy, and for the baby that he/she will be welcomed and loved.

Sandra Heska King said...

Thanks for running over, Lynn. And for your prayers. I love how the Internet can bring girlfriends together for an instant group hug! Oh...swirling pot. Reminds me. She asked me to pick up her antinausea med...


Sandra Heska King said...

Eileen - I can't believe we just got rid of all the baby stuff! Everyone is excited. Gracee asked Abby when she had surgery to put a baby in her stomach. I guess Abby has some "splainin' to do!

Love your new pix.


Sandra Heska King said...

Hi Laurie!

LOL. It'll be a challenge for sure. An adjustment. A slight detour.

I'm learning more every day about hope and disappointment. Like Sheila Walsh put it in her book, Let Go, "If I place my hope in anything or anyone other than Jesus, I will be disappointed. When we expect others to be what only Jesus can be, we set them and ourselves up for heartache."

Love ya lots,

Julie Gillies said...

Hi Sandy,

I'm here from Jody's blog. I tend to like my ducks in a row, my life tidy and organized. Do I ever actually GET that? No way. But I'm learning not to panic. And I'm grateful--so grateful--that God is always in the unexpected.

Sandra Heska King said...

Hi Julie,

Being a perfectionist but not being perfect. Yep, that's me. And so glad that nothing is a surprise to God.

So glad you stopped by and took the time to comment. Come back. :)

Hope your day is full of good surprises.


Madison said...

Ah, life.

Sandra Heska King said...

Ah, Madison. I guess that says it all. I LOVE that profile picture.


Angie said...

Hi Aunt Sandy,
Wow - congratulations!! Funny you mentioned "deeper roots" - we were just talking about that today! Crazy! Went to a Women's Wellness Conference today out at Treetops - put on by Zonta - AMAZING! Lots of great stuff - just like your blog...always makes me THINK about great stuff! Perfection is waaaaay overrated! Good thing WE ARE ALWAYS LOVED!!

Love ya! A

Sandra Heska King said...

Hi Angie,

I don't know much about Zonta, but that sounds neat. Yep, it's funny how sometimes the same thought or concept or scripture seems to strike at the same time from different places. For me, for a whole week, just a couple weeks ago, it was be strong and courageous. Hmmmm.

YOU are loved! Always.

Love you big,

SharonB said...

Hi Sandy, Oh how I know that phone call. Only mine was "mom my girlfriend is pregnant." He was away a college when he called, it was not expected it never is. We would have even more unexpected phone calls in the midst of decisions, painful choices, heart break and things beyond our control but never out of His control.

Somewhere there is a precious little boy being raised in a wonderful Christian home with parents who prayed for a child.

Today that same son, 7 years later is growing in His walk with the Lord, married a precious christian woman and just has a wonderful family.

You can actually read more about it on my blog - but I just felt led to share a part of my "unexpected" phone call.

Love you precious friend.

Sandra Heska King said...

Thank you so much for sharing your unexpected, Sharon. You're right--hard choices. Abby had considered adoption but decided against it. I'm sure her being an adopted child played into that decision. And 24 years ago, we were the ones praying for a child to love. Funny the twists life takes.

Love you back, girlfriend.

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